25 expat voices: Caren Cross

Expat: Caren Cross

Film: Lost and Found in Mexico

Website: lostandfoundinmexico.com

Caren Cross

Related Multimedia

Ana Prado

We asked our 25 featured expats if they have a specific Mexico “moment” or memory—something that always makes them think, “Yep, this is home,” or “That’s what I love about this place.” View Slideshow >>

Thousands of Americans have inexplicably made the choice to relocate to the town of San Miguel de Allende. Lost and Found in Mexico is their story. Watch the trailer of Caren Cross's award-winning documentary. View Video >>

Related Articles

• 25 expat voices: Anado McLauchlin & Richard Schultz
• 25 expat voices: Attilio Tuis Berto
• 25 expat voices: Barbara Franco
• 25 expat voices: Barbara MacKinnon vda. de Montes
• 25 expat voices: Caren Cross
• 25 expat voices: Ed Krause
• 25 expat voices: Father Vincent Schwahn
• 25 expat voices: Henry Wangeman
• 25 expat voices: Jeanne Chaussee
• 25 expat voices: Joanie Barcal
• 25 expat voices: Kevin Pickolick
• 25 expat voices: Lee Carter
• 25 expat voices: Maggie Galton
• 25 expat voices: Marcia Hass
• 25 expat voices: Marie Dwyer-Bullock and Ray Bullock
• 25 expat voices: Milou de Montferrier
• 25 expat voices: Molly Fisher
• 25 expat voices: Paul Crist
• 25 expat voices: Rachel Micah-Jones
• 25 expat voices: Ron Buchanan
• 25 expat voices: Susana Trilling
• 25 expat voices: Susana Valadez
• 25 expat voices: Umair Khan

Originally from: The Philadelphia area.

Lives in: San Miguel de Allende.

Living in Mexico: We've been in San Miguel for ten years.

Why did you move to Mexico?

My husband David and I came to San Miguel for a one-week vacation. We went home, back to work, and I could not get Mexico out of my mind. I kept thinking about how I felt there. Something in my mind opened up and started me thinking, "There might be another way to live." I loved my profession and thought I'd work until I was 80, but suddenly I was thinking about giving it all up!

Tell us about your documentary film, Lost and Found in Mexico.

I had this obsession for three years. I'd wake up mornings to thoughts of making a documentary film about foreigners in San Miguel. It fascinated me. I wanted to explore on film why foreigners come here, what calls them, and more importantly, if they feel different when they get here. I knew what called me. Whenever anyone asked me why I came to SMA, my stock answer was, "There is sun everyday, you don't have to drive a car, and the quality of the light is spectacular." I am someone who likes to paint and the light here is reminiscent of the light in Tuscany or Cape Cod.

The most surprising thing was how different I felt here. My values were changing. My anxieties were decreasing. In a sense I felt that I was finding the old Caren.

In retrospect I realize that by making the film I was searching for answers for myself. I wanted to understand how I could have changed so quickly and so radically. I wanted to know if others shared similar feelings of transformation, but I knew nothing about filmmaking and had never even met a filmmaker! What I naively thought would take three months [instead] took three and half years.

The narrative was the most difficult part. I was determined that I would not be seen or heard in the film. I thought I could tell my story and explore the questions through the stories of other expats. I didn't intend to make a personal narrative. However, two years into the editing process I had to give up and "expose" myself. In retrospect I see that this was a necessary part of the process of being more true to myself, more honest.

A surprising (and gratifying) response to the film has been from the Latinos who, when they see the film, feel proud of their countries. They feel "seen" and understood. They tell me that most films depict Latin Americans as drug dealers or as lying, stealing thieves. Through the film they see the value in their culture and the appreciation we foreigners feel for them.

What are you up to now?

Well, now I've caught the film-making bug and am embarking on another documentary. But I also paint and study Spanish. Perfecting Spanish will be a life-long pursuit with this old brain of mine!

Do you have a specific Mexico "moment" that makes you think, "That's what I love about this place"?

While interviewing almost forty expats, I was struck with how many of them said, about San Miguel, "I felt I had come home." This was an alarming response to hear over and over and over. The photographer and I would just look at each other in amazement. I can't say that I totally understand this but here's my theory: I think that expats come here and are no longer a part of the US culture. We can give up all the pressures that are put upon us (mostly unconsciously) by that culture. Furthermore, we are not a part of the Mexican culture. In this position we are now free. We can be more true to ourselves. In this sense, we are home.

What are both the best and the hardest things about being an expat in Mexico?

Clearly the best thing about being an expat in Mexico is how free I feel to be myself.

I'm not crazy about how far we live from a major airport. I wish family and friends were closer. I miss first-run movies. I miss bookstores, Target, and TJ Maxx. I miss the New York Times on Sunday morning with a cup of coffee.