Loving across cultures
Exploring the charms and challenges
By Quade Hermann Original Print Publication: February, 2007
Luisa Ortíz reaches across the table in a smoky café in Condesa and runs her fingers through Ulysses de la Torre's hair. It is a sweet, unconscious gesture.
Image:Luz Montero
The Rosens: Jamie is a Jewish American and Mariana comes from a Mexican Catholic family.
"His nationality is our necessary evil," says Ortíz, a university professor. "In my life, and with the people I hang out with, I have found myself making excuses for it. I sometimes cover up and don't say it outright."
Ortíz is Mexican, de la Torre is American. Like so many couples in Mexico, they are doing their best to find common ground between different cultures, nationalities and languages. It's a dizzying endeavour with extraordinary highs and some pretty low-lows, and all the more rewarding because of the great effort it sometimes requires. What are these couples up against, and how do they make it work?
But wait -- we need to begin at the beginning. When eyes meet across a crowded room. What do they see?
"For many Mexicans, foreigners are very attractive," says Mónica Bautista, a vivacious economist-turned-Spanish teacher who is a regular at clubs and parties in Mexico City. "But it's a two-edged sword. It's the spell of Malinche."
Malinche, you will remember, was the Aztec mistress of Hernán Cortez. Given to him as a slave, she became the mother of his son and his most trusted interpreter. For her intimate relationship with outsiders she has been awarded a troubled place in the hearts of contemporary Mexicans, painted as either a traitor for aiding the Spanish conquistadores, or a heroine for preventing even more bloodshed through her negotiations with the Aztec tribes. Even today, in some quarters, a malinchista is considered the worst kind of traitor.
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Although love needs to be framed within a cultural context, many scholars believe that romantic love is transcultural.Love also appears to have been part of people's conscious experience for many centuries.In considering what we know about love across cultures, it is likely that the propensity for romantic love is cross-cultural and may well be part of our genetic heritage. But love is also construed and constructed within contexts of culture and country.
Racism is talked about here. There are many fields affected by it, we know that, even education.The federal government wants to do a little credit repair with the quality of US education, by throwing a lot of money into math and science education. While this is a noble aim, there are some systemic problems that need to be cured with US education, and it's going to take more than a few payday loans. For instance, how many people do you know that don't know "irregardless" is NOT a word? (It's a double negative.) Also, anyone knowing the difference between your and you're, and they're, their, and there is an extreme minority. We can't even teach our children OUR OWN LANGUAGE! Never mind what it's going to take to teach math and science better.
I have a good reason why I can't suggest myself to tow the line with what my friends cannot be avowing about twice. I'm not going to go bottom feeding on this one. It's always worst when you're at your weakest. I think you're going to get particular when you least expect it.
Mike
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